The Neural Secret to Surviving Our Most Divisive Moments: Why Your Brain Needs Perspective-Taking Now
When Tragedy Divides Us: The Neuroscience of Choosing Unity Over Destruction (Canva design)
September 10, 2025, will be remembered as one of America's darkest days. Within hours of each other, two acts of violence shattered communities: 16-year-old Desmond Holly opened fire at Evergreen High School in Colorado before taking his own life and Charlie Kirk was fatally shot at Utah Valley University.
But what happened next may have been even more devastating than the violence itself.
Within hours, the nation fractured. As a neuroscientist studying cognitive performance, I watched these reactions with a sense of dread. This is a pattern that has happened before—not just in recent history, but woven throughout the entire human story.
The Ancient Pattern We Keep Repeating
Throughout human history—from the fall of Rome to the French Revolution, from civil wars to coups—societies have torn themselves apart when opposing perspectives hardened into impenetrable walls. The pattern is always the same: curiosity dies, empathy vanishes, and destruction follows. We fragment into tribes, each convinced of our moral superiority, each unable to see beyond our own viewpoint.
But here's what history doesn't tell us: your brain has a built-in antidote to this ancient human tragedy. This pattern isn’t inevitable. Your brain has the power to break it. It’s a power that we as a nation haven’t utilized well lately.
As someone who's spent years studying the neuroscience of cognitive performance, I can tell you that the same mental processes destroying our dinner table discussions and congressional sessions also hold the key to our survival—and our success.
The Brain Science of Breaking Cycles-The Neuroscience of Our Moment
When neuroscientist Uta Frith discovered what she calls the brain's "mentalizing network," she unlocked something profound about human potential. This network—centered in your temporo-parietal junction and medial prefrontal cortex—is literally designed to help you understand how others think, even when you fundamentally disagree with them.
Here's the remarkable part: this isn't about changing your mind. It's about expanding your cognitive toolkit in order to find solutions rather than conflict.
Research by Leonhard Schilbach shows that when you actively engage with different perspectives, your brain undergoes measurable changes:
The agility of your thought processes strengthen.
Your implicit bias decreases.
Your amygdala—the brain's alarm system—becomes less reactive during conflict.
Most critically, your decision-making becomes exponentially more sophisticated.
Think about it: every major business success, every breakthrough innovation, every lasting relationship requires navigating different viewpoints. Those who thrive aren't those who surround themselves with yes-people—they're the ones who can genuinely understand perspectives that challenge their own.
What September 10th Revealed About Us
The reactions to these tragedies exposed something troubling: our collective inability to hold space for complex emotions simultaneously. People felt compelled to choose sides instantly—to either mourn Kirk or celebrate his death, to either blame rhetoric or defend it. Explanations were abundantly invented before any evidence that supported their “tribes’” mantra could be found.
What if there was another way? (There is)
Imagine if, in those crucial hours after September 10th, the response had been different?
If, instead of celebrating anyone's death, the question was asked: "What pain is driving this reaction, and how can we address the underlying issues?"
Instead of immediately blaming rhetoric, what if we had wondered: "What complex factors contribute to violence, and how can we address them systematically?"
What if, instead of rushing to judgement we might have explored: "What does this reaction tell us about the stress and polarization in our country?"
Let’s take this a step further.
What if the problem is isolated to one individual and NOT systemic at all. In that case the rush to judgment and blame itself is the systemic and painful problem. Blinded by innate prejudices, instant explanations are invented that fit polarized mental models of the world. It is immediately assumed it is the other tribe's “fault.” This maintains moral superiority while taking no responsibility for the event unless it can be leveraged as fodder to indict and damage the other tribe.
Conversely, perhaps we have a tendency to describe an incident from our “team” as being isolated when it might actually BE systemic. Our ability to reasonably analyze the patterns or lack of them is what has been eradicated. The jury of public opinion is so polarized that it becomes impossible to have a fair trial. Quiet silence only reigns when the truth comes to light and proves your side wrong followed by a quick shift of attention to another topic.
Perhaps that is the goal. Self-serving pundits are punting emotional grenades to further their own tribe’s viewpoint and the “guilty party” is hung before we even know what happened.
This isn't moral relativism—it's cognitive gameplay.
Cameron Carter's research shows that genuine curiosity about opposing viewpoints triggers oxytocin release, the neurochemical that builds trust and enhances collaborative problem-solving. THIS is the ethical behavior we should be engaging in that constructs rather than destroys. This is where great nations rise together in mediating conflict rather than eating their own with relish.
The Leadership Imperative: Why perspective-taking isn't just nice—it's necessary for our survival
For leaders and citizens navigating our volatile world, perspective-taking isn't just an ethical choice—it's a survival skill. Ultimately the communities, companies, and even countries who thrive long term aren't led by those who surround themselves with only agreeable voices; they're led by the ones who can genuinely understand perspectives that challenge their own worldview.
This is the "I" in the FITBRAIN framework—the Interaction component that transforms isolated thinking into cognitive collaboration. In The Mental Bandwidth Solution program, I teach this skill because it's absolutely crucial for leadership in a crisis. Our world is changing exponentially fast and we need the skills to navigate the speed.
How ancient wisdom meets cutting-edge neuroscience to transform conflict into social intelligence: Your Action Plan
This week, as our nation continues processing these tragedies, practice perspective-taking:
For those who mourned Kirk: Try to understand why some saw his rhetoric as harmful enough to celebrate his death. What experiences might have shaped that perspective?
For those who didn't mourn Kirk: Try to understand why others saw him as a valuable voice worth grieving. What did he represent to them?
For Leaders: Be aware of destructive results of divisive language used for quick political point-scoring. Find empathy for all of your followers that might be struggling and not merely those that agree with or support you. Recognize that constructive arguments are best made when they encourage listening, private processing, and open-minded expression. In short, respect opinions that you disagree with as being valid and worthy of thought.
Ask yourself: "What am I missing about this person's viewpoint?" Not to agree, but to understand the full complexity of our human moment.
What perspective will you explore this week?
Our divided nation is counting on minds like yours.